Grey Eagle - Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Sharsa returned the next day, carrying with him the dinnertray and a bag. "Your tub will be here soon," he said cheerfully, handing the tray to Arion. "Thought I'd give you a chance to eat first."

He sat then and began taking things out of the bag. "I've got some soap here for you, and a cloth, a towel, some clean clothes... and last, but not least, a razor." He was exuberant and proud, handing the items to Arion as he listed them. "They made a big stink about it, but I won!"

Arion smiled slightly. Hype it, Sharsa. He sighed then. "Thanks," he said, more depressed than pleased. He wanted to like Sharsa, did in fact like the lie, but that's all it was. A lie. To play along was dangerous, for he didn't seem to be thinking properly, but to hate on a permanent basis was exhausting and his thinking seemed to get even worse. "Why are you doing this?" he asked softly.

"Because I want to be friends."

His voice was sincere, his eyes were sincere... Quite a liar. "Why? What possible reason could a venator have, wanting to be friends with a human? With a Cedrychad?"

He nodded. "Like I said, the full answer is somewhat complicated, but let me say this: I'm a homologist because I like humans. You're the first Cedrychad I've ever met, but you're not the first human. I don't blame you for not liking me, because all the venators you've ever met have tried to kill you. Not exactly an endearing quality." He smiled. (Arion noted that Sharsa kept his mouth closed whenever he smiled, hiding his fangs.) "Not all venators are hunters though. I'm hoping I can show you I'm not."

"And do only hunters eat humans?" The question was low and quiet.

Sharsa looked at him, then down at the floor, not trying to hide the truth, but ashamed, perhaps, of the answer. "Of all the things I can do to help you trust me, I think honesty is probably at the top of the list, but you won't always like the answers."

Arion nodded. "That's okay. I'd rather have the truth anyway. Thanks." He sat quietly then, eating his food, thinking.

They soon heard wheels rolling down the hall and Arion looked at the doorway, tensed, refusing to let his guard down a second time. Sharsa smiled at him, encouragingly. It seemed to take forever, but at last two venators appeared, brining in a bathtub which was already filled with water. They left without ever speaking or even looking at them, but Sharsa stayed.

Arion peeled down, unabashed. He sighed with satisfaction as he slid into the water, then smiled in spite of himself, truly delighted. "Ah, Sharsa, you have no idea how good this feels." Indeed, just the pure sensation after the dragging vacuum of the recent past was ecstasy... He submerged, just for the feel of it, rising and shaking the water from his hair. He splashed, just to hear it. Like a child, he played in the water.

"Hey Sharsa," he said suddenly. "Have you ever seen this before?"

Sharsa came to the side of the tub. "What?"

"Look down here..." He cupped his hands, his thumbs just above the water, suddenly squeezing. The water spurted up, splashing Sharsa in the face. "Hah! Direct hit!"

Sharsa jumped back, startled and clearly frightened. He calmed quickly enough, but remained confused. Arion was laughing. "Oh, Sharsa, I'm sorry... No I'm not! ...Oh, you should see your face!" He collapsed in a fit of giggles.

Venators had neither fur nor feathers, but perhaps you could call it feather-fur. Each shaft had several branches to it, rather like a moth's antennae, though not so dense. A light coat, it worked well to trap air for warmth, but it had absolutely no resistance to water. Sharsa's face was a comical mixture of wet and dry, giving him a half plucked appearance.

Sharsa smiled slowly, appreciating first Arion's happiness, and finally, reluctantly, the joke itself. "You're pretty pleased with yourself, aren't you?"

Arion looked innocent, then smiled wickedly. "Considering such limited opportunities, yes! Very. Right between the eyes!" And he laughed again.

He scrubbed then, vigorously cleaning away the dirt, washing away the sweat of his fear. He washed his hair. He shaved. The water cooled, and finally he got out. He dried himself, and that was good too, rubbing his body with the towel, scratching his back with its fluffy wonderfulness.

He dressed in the clean clothes Sharsa had brought - pants with an elastic waist and a pullover shirt - a fair fit and comfortable. They were the same style as Yavin's clothes, but of a creamy, off-white color. Sharsa began tidying up.

"Not my jacket."

"Mm?"

"My jacket," Arion repeated, suddenly frightened, struggling to appear casual. "You've got my jacket. I'd like to keep it please."

"Oh... All right. Sure you don't want me to wash it for you?"

"No thanks. I'd rather just keep it." Sharsa handed it to him and he put it on, keeping it close. Blanket, pillow and plaything, it also had on it the only color in the entire room.

Sharsa seemed not to notice. The two venators who had brought the tub appeared magically and took it away, once again oblivious of anything but the tub. Having lost part of his one and only meal just the day before, Arion was relieved to have finished his bath before it too was taken away.

"Feel better?" asked Sharsa when the two were gone.

Arion smiled and nodded. "Much better. Thanks." He leaned back against the wall, relaxing. "Next time can I have a tooth brush too?"

"Sure. Sorry I didn't think of that. I'll bring you one tomorrow."

"Great! So what are you buttering me up for?"

"What? I'm not... What do you mean?"

"I mean you're being very nice to me because you want something. So what do you want?"

He smiled, shaking his head. "The same thing I've wanted all along. I want you to be happy enough to talk to me without hating me."

Arion nodded. Refreshed, even rejuvenated, he felt capable of talking and handling the situation. "That's worth a bath, but I'll still have to meet you halfway."

"Only halfway?"

"Well, I don't really hate you anyway, but I'm not going to pretend I like you just because you let me have a bath."

"Fair enough. That's an honest answer, and I like honesty too." He was silent for a moment, then he asked, "You say you fear pain, but you seemed as if you were in better shape when you were getting thrown around the room. Why?"

Arion took a deep breath, considering. The question surprised him. He had assumed that Sharsa knew what he was going through, and was putting him through it on purpose. If not, it wasn't a technique he wanted him to learn.

Yet if he was sincere, he might do something to change it. "Well, I understood what he wanted, and he wasn't really hurting me. At least, nothing I couldn't handle." He looked up and smiled. "That's not to say I was enjoying myself, but I could handle it."

Sharsa gazed at him, waiting for him to go on. When he didn't, he asked, "And now? Why have you been so unhappy with me?"

He paused, the smile fading, not knowing how to answer. He didn t understand it either. "I don't know what you want," he said lamely.

"I want to be friends."

"No. You want to study me, and I don't know what you're trying to find out. And sooner or later you're going to get bored."

Sharsa sighed heavily. "I don't want to eat you, Arion. I want to be friends. You still won't believe that?"

"You get me out of here?"

"Eventually," he answered with a nod, his ear betraying frustration. "It sort of depends."

"Ah," said Arion with a tilt of his head, smiling slightly. "Like on whether or not I'm willing to be friends?"

"Yes," he said slowly, hedging. "I don't want you to be fawning, and... I want you to be you, and I want to be friends."

He looked curiously at Sharsa. "Only 'they' won't ever trust me enough to let me out unless I'm fawning and...?"

"I don't know. I've never tried this before."

What have you tried before? But he didn't want to talk about Yavin and Ky, the questions still too snarled to ask. He sighed, then laughed suddenly. "You want a pet, don't you? You think you can tame me and make a pet out of me!"

"I already have pets," said Sharsa uncertainly, trying a smile and then abandoning it.

Arion's smile dropped like a stone. "Yeah. Only they're not as interesting. You want one that isn't fawning and.. and.." He choked, suddenly horribly upset, startled and distressed by his own lack of composure.

"Arion..."

"I'm sorry," he apologized, dropping his eyes. He didn't want Sharsa to leave. "I just can't be what you want. How could we be friends?"

"Why couldn't we?"

"Because I'm a Cedrychad and you eat people."

"You have animals that you eat, and yet you keep some of them aside as companions."

"I'm not an animal."

"You're part of nature."

"Yes, but I'm also a Cedrychad. I can't just sit here and be friends with you when you eat people. I can just see us walking around together, all buddy-buddy. 'Oh, excuse me, Arion. I'm getting hungry. Be a good fellow and look the other way, will you?' Come on, be serious."

Sharsa sighed heavily and nodded, then shook his head. "So complicated. If only you understood." He looked at Arion, searching his eyes, pleading. "If I tell you outright, you'll just laugh at me, but if you can't understand, you'll never trust... Arion, it is okay to trust me. There's a way, but I don't know how to make you understand."

Arion looked away, uncomfortable. "Why don't you just try telling me and see what happens?"

Another sigh. "Because you won't believe me." He stood.

Arion rose with him. "Thanks for the bath."

"You're welcome," he answered and headed out the door.

"Don't be a stranger."

"What?"

"Don't be gone forever. At least talking is something to do. Even if it is to a venat." He smiled slightly.

"Oh."

Arion saw that he was insulted. It wasn't what he'd intended and he regretted hurting his feelings. He started to apologize, then stopped, annoyed that he should care. He ought to be glad. Sharsa left and he sighed. He raked his fingers through his hair and turned around, but, as always, there was nothing to turn to.